A Cow based Economics Lesson

This is excellent – this one never gets old, even almost 15 years later – it just evolves.

[via Sam Aminisam on Google+]

A Cow based Economics Lesson:

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you
want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and market it worldwide.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

 

VOTD: The Axis of Awesome’s 4 Chords

Ever listened to a new band or a new pop song and thought, hmmm, it does have a familiar sound, doesn’t it? Well there’a trio from down under, called The Axis of Awesome, who have the answer.

And you’ll be surprised to hear how simple it is – just four chords. That’s right, according to “Chicken Little” aka Benny you can pretty much hear/use the same four chords in just about any pop song and to prove their point they demonstrate by playing 36 different pop songs using the same four chords. These guys definitely live up to their name. Definitely worth following this new up and coming trio from Australia. You can see what they’re up to by following them on Twitter or having a look at their website.

But first, don’t just take my word for it, have a listen for yourself  – check out the video below. [via Onelargeprawn]

Update – 18 May 2010: Jon from the RCB has put together a much better break down and analysis of why the four chords work so well in his blog post here.

VOTD: Enhance that

I just read a quick post on Paige’s blog called Clients From Hell and followed the link on to some really funny excerpts from designers/developers who’ve had to deal with clients, you know the type – we’ve all experienced them before.

One of the posts was an “Enhance” video clip from various movies and TV series where they use “technology” to enhance digital videos and photographs for various reasons. It’s a great montage and I found it very funny, hopefully you do too.

VOTD: Adolf’s Adolf Hitler parody video

I’m sure you must have seen one of the meme’s around the Internet which features a scene out of a German movie called Der Untergang (Downfall) with English subtitles. But instead of the original English subtitles, they have been replaced by various people poking fun at various things.

I’ve just spotted the video to end all Hitler parody videos. One by the fuhrer himself! Check it out below. [via BoingBoing]

VOTD: A history of pretty much everything

Just spotted this incredibly well done animated video of hand-drawn pictures on Utter Insanity.

UPDATE: It (the final piece) got full marks! YAY 😀
This is the final piece for my AS art course, a flipbook made entirely out of biro pens. It’s something like 2100 pages long, and about 50 jotter books. I’d say I worked on and off it for roughly 3 weeks.
Song is French Cancan by Jaques Offenbach.
Additional sounds credited to Valve, specifically from their game Team Fortress 2.
Other stuff is from the 300 trailer and O Little Town of Bethlehem.
All other content copyright Jamie Bell (aka DispleasedEskimo) 2010, I guess 😛 – source DispleasedEskimo

I’m famous – in Sweden!

Well it seems like my blogging has finally paid off. It seems my mere ramblings are not just only ramblings but a voice that’s been heard as far as Sweden. And it seems like my little world is making a difference to others.

Click on the link below to view the full press release (in Swedish with English subtitles).

View video press release (low bandwidth version)

VOTD: Super Bowl Sunday Commercials

For us South African’s Super Bowl Sunday is just another run-of-the-mill weekend for us. For American’s it’s one of the biggest weekends of the year. And companies pull out all the stops to make commercials aired between the game as they’re guaranteed to reach one of the highest number of viewers since almost everyone is in front of the telly.

Connie just sent me this hilarious commercial about the Audi A3 TDi (see video embedded below). If you want to catch up (and vote) on some of the videos aired yesterday have a look at the Ad Blitz channel on YouTube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wq58zS4_jvM

A Greek Christmas Poem

I got sent this by BG yesterday and thoroughly enjoyed it – if you’re Greek, or even half-Greek, or even know someone Greek you’ll enjoy this. I’m so getting my dad to read this on Christmas Day, he’ll get a real kick out of it.

If you know the original source of this let me know and I’ll give credit.

T’was the night before Hristouyenna and all through the spiti
I could smell fasolatha & pasticho through my miti.
Pandofles were hung on the fireplace quite low,
Hoping Ayios Vasilis would bring some poto.
Patera in his krevati was snoring pretty hard,
Tired from stealing the tree from
our malaka neighbours’ yard.

Mama was in the basement cooking like a nikokira,
adding just enough lemon to her fresh made horta.
When the thorivo came from outside the porta,
Baba yelled from his room “ela mesa re malaka”.
The knocking on the door, such a rude, loud barage ,
I yelled through the window
“It’s a Greek house re malaka, come in through the garage!”

Then, standing in the garage right next to my car,
was my drunk thio Mitso coming home from the bar.
“Ainde kimisou methismene” I told him with might,
“you’ll ruin my chances of seeing Ayio Vasilis tonight”.

About two hours later I heard a noise down the stair,
I jumped from my krevati to see who was there.
Standing by the tree eating leftover fakkes,
Was Ayios Vasilis reeking of tsiporo no less.

He was all dressed in red and as big as an ox,
Wearing brown “pandofles” along with black socks.
Smelling like a katsiki with a touch of “Old Spice”,

He’d been drinking for days and smelled not very nice.
He was putting the presents out under the tree,
They were wrapped like skata, it was quite plain to see.
Vrakyia & 6 kaltses from Myer for me,
and 12 for my brother cuz he’s only 3.

This Santa was paraxenos, nothing like the fable,
Before leaving he stole my tsigara from the table.
I yelled “Eh, Ay’ Vasili, ti kaneis ekie?”
and he turned and he threw his “pandofla” at me.

The look in his eyes was nothing but fright,
He said “fiye apo tho, re malaka” and dashed out of sight.
And he called to his reindeer, and called them by name
I knew they were not the same animals from “Jingle Bell” fame..

“Ela Mitso, Sotiri, ke Nektario,
Yianni kai Taki, Thanasi kai Yiorgo…”
“Ainde grigora na pao ya katourima”,
and he yelled as he went “KALA XRISTOUYENNA“.

VOTD: Adriano Celentano's 'English' Music Video

I saw an intriguing post in my daily feed from BoingBoing entitled “Gibberish rock song written by Italian composer to sound like English”.

It’s about a short skit called Prisencolinensinainciusol from Adriano Celentano‘s, an Italian actor, show. His idea behind the skit was to create a song with American English sounding lyrics to put across what American English songs sound like to non-English speaking people.

I listened to the song’s lyrics while doing something else and couldn’t quite remember what the words were, but I could have sworn they were in English. When I played the song again and listened more carefully as they lyrics were sung you could make out that some words sounded like English words, but were clearly not.

In 1970, an Italian man recorded a song long before disco and rap that is very close to both, and then an unnamed person choreographed it for a battalion of dancers in a hall of mirrors. If the results are really as miraculous as they seem right now, and I am not just talking myself into something, it is precisely because “Prisencolinensinainciusol” is such a loving presentation of silliness. Would any grown performer allow themselves this level of playfulness now? Wouldn’t a contemporary artist feel obliged add a tinge of irony or innuendo to make it clear that they were “knowing” and “sophisticated”? It’s not clear what would be gained by darkening this piece of cotton candy, or what more you could know about it: it is perfect as is. – source The New Yorker

If that’s not cool enough, think about this – this video clip is from his show from 1972 – that’s 37 years ago. Now take into account the disco/rap style of the music – quite the pioneer, don’t you think?