Kids: 1st Graduation

We attended our kids’ creche’s graduation ceremony last night. It’s hard to believe how quicky the last 4+ years have gone. Melissa (now 6) is growing up quickly and next year she’ll be going to Grade 1.

Rebecca (2) received her certificate for the year. Lighting is terrible at the front of the stage.

The graduating class walked in pairs from the back of the hall towards the stage holding candles while Josh Grobin’s song “You Raise Me Up” was playing – perfectly selected to give you that lump in your throat.

We’re also very proud of Melissa and her best-friend, Elzaane, for sharing the floating trophy award for being the top performing students of their class. My wife’s sentiments can be read here.

Elzaane and Melissa

You can view the music video below of Josh Grobin performing “You Raise Me Up”.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Ou8vzy_2ho

Desires and Urges

I never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women differ so much. And I never figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women think with their heart. I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words “I do.”

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.”

I said “WHAT!!! What was that?!”

So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear…”You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.” She responded to my puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?”

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to
take so I told her we’d just buy them all! She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you, she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.” She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, “I think this is all dear, lets go to the cashier.”

I could hardly contain myself when I blurt out, “No honey, I don’t feel like it.”

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, “WHAT??!!!”

I then said “Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.” And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, “Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?”

Apparently I won’t be having sex again until sometime after pigs flyover a frozen hell while monkeys fly out her bum. – Originally posted on Funtasticus.